Dear Diary,
It has happened.
The thing we all feared but no one dared to name.
The lemonade stand turf war has begun.
It started innocently enough. Sweet little Addie Mae set up her stand just outside the post office. Her sign read “Lemonade – 50 cents – with love!” complete with hand-drawn hearts and an actual lace doily. It was precious. It was wholesome. It was… successful.
Too successful.
Because two hours later, Max and Oliver (age 6 and 7, chaotic neutral) set up their stand on the opposite corner. Their sign read:
“BATTLE LEMONADE – 25¢ – NO LOVE NECESSARY.”
Thus, the war began.
Addie started offering lemon cookies. Max retaliated with sour gummies “free with any purchase.” Addie’s grandma made fresh peach lemonade. Oliver loudly shouted, “WE USE EXTRA CITRIC ACID, LADY.” A town council meeting almost had to be called when someone tried to pay for peace by buying from both and was accused of treason.
Meanwhile, Tiger chose a perfectly neutral patch of sidewalk and stared at both stands with an expression that suggested he’d seen the fall of empires and this was somehow worse.
Eventually, Molly stepped in with a tray of strawberry shortcake and negotiated a ceasefire via shared whipped cream and compromise pricing. A truce was declared. Addie, Max, and Oliver agreed to combine stands into one “Super Lemonade Collective” and promptly raised prices to $1 “because it’s fancier now.”
Honestly? I respect the hustle.
Tiger is still glaring at them from behind a flower pot. I think he was rooting for chaos.
—Lydia
